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No doubt as far as that goes, we must say that even tumours come into being for the good of the body [since they are ‘natural’].” “What if we were discussing things hot or cold, hard and soft, what test should we use?

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Sometimes I feel that she wants to break up with me because she feels sorry for me. To begin with, an important thing to keep in mind is that you were aware of the situation when you started, which means your companion has been honest with you and has not withdrawn information about her health status from you.

This means that when you began the relationship you used your ruling faculty with full knowledge of what was likely going to happen.

” “When once you have realized this, then, said Epictetus, you will make this your one interest in the future, and to this alone devote your mind — to discover the means of judging what is natural and to use your criterion to distinguish each particular case as it arises.” “For the present I can help you just so far as this in regard to what you wish: do you think family affection is natural and good?

‘Of course.'” “Was it right, I ask, for you, being affectionately disposed to your child, to run away and leave her? ‘She is indeed.’ Should the mother then have left her too, or should she not?

I’m glad to hear that reminding yourself of the dichotomy of control is being helpful to you.

As I’m sure you fully realize, of course, to repeat to yourself that your girlfriend is a mortal, and that this sort of things happen and are outside of your control, is not at all the same as not caring about her, or not trying to do whatever is in your power to be helpful.” “So in your case, you ran away just because you were so minded; and again, if you stay it will be because you are so minded.And now you return to Rome, because you have a mind to do so; and if your mind changes, you will not depart thither.If you wish to submit a question to the Stoic advice column, please send an email to massimo at howtobeastoic dot org.I will, of course, keep personal details out of the published version.You will also have plenty of opportunity to practice temperance, as the situation will repeatedly call for your self-control and patience when dealing with her behavior, which will be influenced by the stress she is under.


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